Well, I am officially one week out from my second NPC Competition. I'm eager and ready to get through this week. This is where I am going to give my all and every bit of energy and strength that I have left!
I have been worried out of my mind this past week and it has affected me and my workouts greatly. I had not idea how I was going to pay for this competition. I truly love my job as a personal trainer and fitness instructor because I feel like it was what I was meant to do, but between the excessive cancellations and lack of clientele during this time of year, it has been rough. Still, I can't bring myself to change careers. I would rather receive a smaller income to help people than work behind a desk and not be able to reach anyone. It would absolutely break my heart! With that said, I have had to resort to a GoFundMe campaign. I did not want to bring myself to do it, but it was a last resort and I really have worked so hard these past 6 months to not be able to compete.
This year's prep is so much more different than last year's. I worked very hard last year, but I have worked much harder this year. I feel like I had to because of the damage I did to my body post comp last year (as explained below). I have not missed a single day of training in the past 6 months. I have worked out 2-4 times every single day during those 6 months and I have worked HARD. I have made so many sacrifices too. During prep, I'm not one to go out much or enjoy myself. I"m much too focused and I knew I had a lot of work to do. My diet was a little more flexible in the beginning but not by much. Right now it is more strict than I could have every imagined but this is part of the process and I am willing to give it my all. After all, this is only helping me become stronger mentally.
About the damage done... Well, I will admit that I still struggle with a binge eating disorder... not during prep, but in the off season. After my competition last year, I had every intention of eating junk food for days. I had Trey (my fiance) buy all the junk food I was craving during prep. I indulged and indulged and indulged. Big mistake! It was a horrible uphill battle from there. I became depressed. I had to take many days off of work and I didn't want to be seen by anyone. I began eating foods I would never even touch! I usually stay away from fast food and greasy foods because they don't appeal to me... I hate greasy foods! They make me feel so sluggish and awful, yet I was eating them because I felt so deprived during prep. It is such a mental battle really and it is so hard to understand unless it is something you have dealt with personally. As a result, I gained 30 lbs within a month or two!
This time around, it is my mission to have my cheat meal or two and reverse diet so that I have a healthy mind and body and hold onto my progress that I worked so very hard for. I do these competitions primarily to inspire the people around me and show them what hard work can do. It also is such a great learning experience about how the human body works - about how it responds and adapts to diet and exercise. Additionally, it is a journey for myself.... I want to conquer this ugly eating disorder and I know I can. I want to show people that they can lose weight and maintain their progress by making healthy food choices. The average person should not go on a "diet" but rather switch this for that, or find something that works for him or her personally and stick with it. Consistency is truly the key. I feel like I have gone through all of these obstacles to help people avoid all of the pitfalls I have experienced. I really never had anyone lead or guide me but I want to be that guide to others, especially women. I learned almost everything I know from books, magazines, online articles and experience. I can not only relate to the average person who is struggling in their fitness journey, but those who have eating disorders because I have gone through so much in the past 13 years. Nothing brings me greater joy than seeing a client or participant see progress which in turn makes him or her happy. It is the greatest feeling ever.
Well here goes death week! :P Wish me luck! I will try to post my experience through the days if I have energy. LOL
And if you are willing to help me out, below is the link to my gofundme campaign!