Well here I am, living life after my competition. It's been 4 days since the competition and I've been home all day... right where I want to be. My little girl is sick, so I have good reason to be home, but to be perfectly honest, I really don't want to be at work or at the gym which is the same place! I'm so tired of working out. I pushed soooooo hard, that I just want a little BREAK! I slept most of the morning and it felt amazing and I'm a true homebody, so I love being home and having time to think, write, research, and just be alone. But I know I need to get back to my life ASAP.
Competition Diet, Post Comp Eating, Etc.
My competition prep diet toward the end was freakin' brutal! I knew it was going to be strict, but I had no idea how much! Out of respect for my coach, I'm not going to list my diet in its' entirety, but I will say that it pretty much consisted of lean fish (my choice was Swai since Tilapia tastes absolutely awful), green veggies such as green beans and asparagus, egg whites, and Fiber One in a very small amount. That's it! This peak week has to be one of the hardest things I have gone through. My diet consisted mostly of fish and my calories dropped very low while still working out 2-3 hours a day. I was dizzy, lightheaded, and miserable and I wanted to quit altogether!
So after the competition was over, I did get to enjoy my post competition meal. My choice of food was pizza and pasta. I love caarrrbbsss! Carbs and dessert, yes, please! But I didn't have dessert that night. I didn't even eat as much as I thought I was going to, but I got terribly sick. Those carbs had a drug-like affect on me I swear! On the drive back to the hotel, I felt dizzy, drowsy, nauseous, upset stomach.... all the effects of being drunk. I was stuck in the bathroom for-ev-er! It was not fun. I was so sick I passed out immediately after. Ah, the effects of greasy food! Thank goodness I don't eat like that everyday and to think I once did!
Sunday morning I didn't eat anything. I was much too full. By lunch I was hungry, but opted for half a sandwich with a few fries at Rainforest Cafe. I was afraid to eat anything too heavy. Don't get me wrong, I'd love a nice juicy burger, but I am scared of them! They are full of grease! No dinner that night, just a few chips and I snacked on a couple of Godiva chocolates which were delicious!
Sunday night we head to a casino not too far away... Trey's choice. There was a buffet at our hotel and I ate there Monday. Talk about dessert heaven! I couldn't help myself, but I wasn't yet attempting to restrict. I told myself I'd give myself a few days, then start my reverse diet. But needless to say, the food did not make me feel good. Not as sick as Saturday, just not good... I screwed up Monday night by ordering Wendy's. I ordered a salad and some fries. As you can see, fries are my thing! I absolutely love them.
Tuesday (yesterday), I was back to craving my healthy stuff: chicken breast, broccoli and a sweet potato. Me and my little girl went to Logan's. I did have a roll but that was the worst part. I blotted the hell out of my chicken breast til it was super dry. I hate grease! I ate my sweet potato plain and I ate my salad plain as well. I'm not big on dressing. Last night I did have a thin bagel with cream cheese and a Quest bar. Not good, but hey, it could've been worse, right?
Today I officially started my reverse diet. What is a reverse diet? It's a diet which consists of slowly adding macros and calories back into your diet. See, my calorie consumption was pretty low toward the end of my prep so I simply can't just go back to eating 2,000 calories a day without gaining weight. I have to slowly add these calories back in through the weeks. I found a calculator to help me calculate my macros over the span of 12 weeks. How am I doing so far? I've already gone over my carbs today. I tend to have a hard time with those! My calories are still low today, but gotta find a way to avoid the carbs and get the protein back up. If you aren't familiar with reverse dieting, google it! It's quite interesting. Anyway, I'll keep you all posted on my progress. As noted in an earlier post, I have ED issues, so this is quite the struggle for me. I'm not in the best mental state right now so I've gotta do my best to resist with all the thoughts I'm dealing with right now, which leads me to....
Post Comp Blues
It is known that many competitors face some sort of depression after competition, so I know I'm not alone in this... I promised myself I wouldn't sink too low and I honestly don't feel as bad as I did after my last competition, but I still feel some sort of sadness and for a variety of reasons. Well, here's how I did. I placed 7th out of 8 in Figure, Class B. Click here to see the photos and placing. To place, you have to be 1-5. At first I was really bummed because of all the hard work I put into this to not be recognized and I walked away feeling like maybe I just didn't have enough muscle, or perhaps my posing was off?? But then I saw the results yesterday on the link referenced above and I became livid, angry, and sad. I cried my eyes out both yesterday and today. I mean, how could I place 7th of out that selection? I must admit 1-3 looked absolutely AMAZING, but after that? I mean, wth happened? I'm really puzzled. See, I'm a good sport, I just don't agree with the judges' choices, but it's over and I really can't do anything about it. I'm just having a hard time but I'll get over it!
Above all that, it's hard to cope with the necessary weight gain. It is pretty impossible to look competition ready year round, but I'm doing my best to hold onto some of the weight loss (30 lbs) that I achieved. I started around 164-`165 lbs and currently I'm waking up at 141 lbs. I'll get back into the gym tomorrow since I have 2 classes to teach and I will probably get back to lifting next week. Not sure I'm quite ready to lift weights yet.
Though I'm upset, I did achieve many of my goals:
If you have read this, thank you. I hope that I inspire or help you in some way. I want to reach out to as many people as I can.
Til' next time,